For as long as I can remember, crossdressing has given me a feminine side that I truly couldn’t live without. Also, as long as I can remember, I’ve always been what they would call “hetero” with typical vanilla relationships with women.
Being the coward I am, I’ve never been able to share my alter ego with any of my past girlfriends. God forbid their reactions or, gasp, laughter if they reject my inner woman. Worse, what if one of them let the cat out of the bag to one of my friends? I’d have some explaining to do.
In that time, though, the inner woman grows up and wants more out of herself, to look more passable, be more sexy.
Not to mention feel more like a woman would too.
Ok, that is somewhat difficult since there is that matter of male genitalia getting in the way even though it’s used to enhance the “female” pleasure. Let’s not lie though. Wanking it is about as male as it gets and, after years of rinse and repeat, is about as vanilla as the hetero relationships too.
It’s time for a new way to express myself sexually but in the context of a women. So fantasies of being a slut or porno star and getting gangbanged enter the picture. In other words, how sexy would it be to be fucked for a change? Or suck the proverbial golf ball through the garden hose?
I’ve pondered this bi-curiousness over and over and I just couldn’t help myself. The thought consumed me enough to force me to buy a lovely silicone dildo for practice (and pleasure). At least it was a sort of try-out before I actually consider the real-deal sex with another thrusting (ideally transvestite) male.
Yet there was always that one question continuing to linger that had to be dealt with. Won’t this make me gay or, more correctly, bisexual and would that change me?
I’ve concluded that, fuck yeah, I hope it does BUT it wasn’t exactly easy to come to terms with this.
Being raised to be hetero confined me to those bounds pretty much all my life and was a part of my belief system. Sure, crossdressing went against that but that is just my little secret fetish. I was still only attracted to girls. Changing that belief is kind of hard if you live it your whole entire life.
So what changed? Self acceptance. I am who I am just like you are who you are. When you really think about it, too, aren’t we are all weirdos with skeletons in our closets of some form?
So, after stopping to think about my own perversions and broken taboos for a second and beginning to realize that most people have a dark side to them, I came to a realization: why even fuss with my own sexuality?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to rationalize my bi-curious self to you, the public. Surely, other crossdressers and transvestites out there must have gone down the same path (and then “went down” it ;)).
Now moving on to sex with that transvestite…