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Break in Case of Emergency

I hate to admit it but I am not always in my heels and hose prancing around all over town or in far away places. However, when I do get out of the house on some trip, I do like to take along a garment or two, pantyhose (of course), a wig and some lipstick for good measure. Pretty normal for a run-of-the-mill crossdresser I would say.

Yet I also have this one peculiar habit that I’ve been doing for a number of years now. I managed to snag one of these small little Wolford silk bags which I believe were for some of the designer masks they sold during the pandemic. I didn’t find the masks that appealing (surprising) but something about tiny little silk bags somehow blows wind up my skirt. I got a couple of them and I think they were overpriced at that. But, hey, who didn’t buy crazy shit during the pandemic?

The little bags are quite cute but I was I was really thinking was that a pair of pantyhose could fit perfectly into one of these. So I ripped open a package of shiny new Wolford Neon 40 tights in a Gobi shade (of course), folded it nicely and, lo and behold, they do fit perfectly! So I left them in there nice and snug and have taken this little bag everywhere I’ve been travelling ever since. My perfect little silk bag of some emergency Wolford tights in case I get stuck in a bind in some god forbidden place with no access to pantyhose. The horror!

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The Only Heels I’ll Ever Need From Now On

Surely you know by now that I love slipping into a pair of Wolford tights, then maybe sipping a glass of wine while enjoying that silky softness on my legs. If you can’t tell, I’m doing just that as I type here. I also just got on my bed and propped my legs in the air to snap a quick photo (ahem, no dirty thoughts now). It’s actually what you see right above. That shade of Neon 40 is called Sodalite Blue and is quite gorgeous if I say so myself. 

Normally my Wolfords are at the center of my attention, however, I just happened to receive a package in the mail the other day with some new footwear, ahem, also in the photo above. This is also one of the first times that I can remember where I am actually turned on wearing heels. Seriously, I had one of those OMG orgasmic moments trying these on, posing in the mirror, then prancing around on the carpet.

They are actually Yves Saint Laurent Tribute platforms that I got for a steal practically new on Vinted. Brand new, I wouldn’t even think about buying heels this pricey which I’ve checked online that are between 500€ – 1500€. By chance, I happened to see these in a listing that caught my eye for more like 200€ which I snapped up. I took from my budget for male clothes (zero) and splurged on something that the female in me would more likely enjoy.

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Ok, So Now What Do I Do Here?

Ever see something that on first glance you just have to have it? Yeah, like I really have to ask a crossdresser such a question with an obvious answer? Well, several months back, my eyes glanced on this vegan leather bodysuit from Wolford that made me nearly come in my tights. Aside from that, it is a collaboration with Amina Muaddi and (YIKES) has quite a hefty price tag, $665 in the US and £409 in the UK. OK, I would have waited until the end of season sale for this one I guess.

Yet this thing was so gorgeous I debated selling my car, plasma… my body just to be able to slip into this sexy, kind of fetichy garment. Alright, no I didn’t but you could see what I mean. I really did have to have it.

Then it turned out that miracle happened and I found this very same Wolford bodysuit on Vinted for $100 in perfect condition. It was in a size small which, normally with Wolford bodysuits, I can fit into snugly. So of course I would also like a (vegan) leather bodysuit to look like it were painted on. At a fraction of the price, I rushed to buy it and eagerly awaited that delivery truck like the ice cream man.

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How a Good Wig Transformed a Crossdresser to Pseudo Superheroine

At last count I had six wigs lying around the house. I think there is another one deeply buried in storage next to some old pantyhose from the year 2000 but we won’t count that one. They have all served their purpose at certain points as the icing on that delicious cake of me the crossdresser. Actually they have been more like the cherry on top, so to speak. Basically, a wig has been nothing more than a finishing touch when I am in the mood to dress.

Up until recently I actually haven’t given much though to that little cherry until I went out and paid for a decent one. I was always pretty much happy with the 30 – 50€ ($33 – $55) bargain barn rugs that went on the top of my head but I had never given a second though to quality since it never really seemed to matter. If hair is fake, it is fake and, well, looks the part.

Then I figured why not try out a REAL wig as in a professionally made prosthetic piece instead of using the same old strands of plastic that I’ve been use to. I thought about it back and forth whether to shell out ten times the price I paid for the cheapos and, even more funny, thought about just getting another ten head rugs in different colors and styles. I eventually made the rational decision to go for the quality and maybe in a tint that I would not normally go for… the redhead.

So I forked over the several hundred euros from my credit card to a German company for the “Carlotta” bob wig in a “paprika” color. It is quite a lovely piece with curls and a length a little bit short of the shoulders. I decided I had to ready myself well for the trial so I showered and slipped into my girly attire and then spent a good hour doing my makeup. God I hate putting on makeup although I do really like the end result.

Then I carefully combed through the wig with my hands and gently placed it on. I nearly came when I looked at myself in the mirror.

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I Finally Realized That All Along I Had a Leotard Fetish Too

I guess it is pretty telling of my age just even mentioning the leotard, the 80’s sexy symbol of the fitness craze of the time. Not to mention, they happened to never go without their sister counterpart, glossy colorful tights. I can even remember as a kid taking a liking to gymnastics so I could get the opportunity to wear them for, uh, comfort. Unfortunately, being labeled as “girly” at that young age quickly put an end to that.

That still did not put an end to my fondness for that tight, shiny body garment even though I grew more an more into the tights and pantyhose world. Luckily my mom and sister had a few of those workout VHS videos which I happily watched when they were not around (precursor to porn?). Anyway, my sister even had a couple leotards which I tried on every now and then… over her tights of course.

Obviously the leotard fell out of fashion in the 90’s and practically fell out of memory come the new millennium. Thanks to eBay, however, they still lurked around as “fetish” items. I gave in and got one long ago, as you see above, since I couldn’t help it. It was a nice flash from the past but those little kinks as a kid in the 80’s probably need to stay right where they are, as a distant memory. Sure, there are groups of leotard lovers, I guess even cosplay enter the picture here, but that just isn’t my thing these days. Long story short, it really clashes with my crossdressing.

I don’t want to be a Jane Fonda.

I checked and I think I even lost that shiny silver leotard. All I have is the photo 🙁

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Bodysuits, The Ultimate Leotard

Of course nothing beats my love for silky pantyhose but I did have a thing for leotards back in the day. I can’t help but to think of those Jane Fonda posters with her posing legs stretched in the air and clad in a high-cut leotard, tights and leg warmers.Why they even used belts over their leotards as an eye-catching accessory back then too. My what lovely memories of body hugging spandex shining in the light and the best friend to my dear pantyhose.

I do still have my Reebok racer-back a la 90’s and a couple of Jane Fonda inspired leotard gems of my own but I realize we are well into 2020, wait 2021 already (!), and the coveted leotard is hardly used by even dancers these days. Maybe I’ll just look forward to a Jazzercise themed party in the future but, until then, those spandex garments will sit nicely folded and (hopefully not) forgotten in the meantime.

Yet what is this we have now that I have ignored all along? The… bodysuit? Well thank god for whoever invented this which is practically a leotard made for everyday wear, not to mention in a fashion forward sense as well. Girly, tight-fitting, sexy and, get this, cool. I can definitely get onboard with that!

Actually, I started getting into bodysuits when I realized my all-time favorite company in the world, Wolford – makers of the Neon 40 tights, have been making them for quite a long time. AND they are gorgeous and come in a million styles to choose. Well, actually only a few “new and exclusive” styles each year since, after all, they are a high-end fashion company.

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